Leadership today is all about connecting. Building relationships is a way to gain influence. Relationships may be the single most powerful weapon a person can have at their disposal to leverage for success. Some of the most important relationships of my career have been through mentorships. I’ve always believed that mentoring is the most selfless and worthy act a person can extend to someone that yields a significant return on investment.
I have mentors for every aspect of my life: spiritual, professional, doctoral journey, community/volunteer leadership, etc. This is important, because it is rare that anyone will find one person who meets all the criteria for what they would like to emulate. Plus, who would want that type of pressure? We must allow people to be human.
Criteria for a mentor include someone who is accountable, trustworthy, demonstrates integrity, and possess other attributes worthy of emulating. After all, the reason you would want someone to be your mentor is because they have qualities you wish to learn from and model in your own life.
Below are three critical points for engaging in effective mentor/mentee relationships. If followed, these practices can lead to a high level of appreciation for both parties.
Finally, I wish to leave you with a note from one of my mentees that I think we all could learn from. She sent me this note at the start of our mentor protégé relationship when I asked her to communicate what she was seeking from the relationship to inform how I could best help her. Here’s what she wrote:
“Good morning, I wanted to confirm our meeting for May 15th at 9:30 am and provide some topics to frame our mentorship. So how can you help?
1. Continue to challenge me with thought provoking questions
2. Offend me, if necessary
3. Teach me to collaborate and build meaningful relationships
4. Share your failures and how you overcame
5. Help me to set realistic goals and develop actions plans
6. Teach me how to increase my influence
As your protégé, I will:
1. Follow instructions,
2. Ask clarifications,
3. Operate in integrity
4. Be grateful for your time, energy, and everything else you bring to the table.
5. Be responsible for my own outcome
I am looking forward to growth.”
I continue to mentor this young lady. I learn from her hopefully just as much as she learns from me.